Uncovered by Leah Lax is her memoir of leaving her Hasidic Jewish community and becoming herself. It might be read in conjunction with Concealed by Esther Amini, also a memoir of leaving a fundamental Jewish family and becoming an integrated person.
Lax, a Texan with Russian Jewish roots, has been raised in a dysfunctional family. Her mother is an artist and hoarder with alcohol and pill addictions. Her father is severely depressed and has sexually abused his three daughters. Though Jewish, her family is essentially non-practicing. Seeking stability in this environment, Lax joins a Hasidic community. There, she enters into an arranged marriage, but gives up her musical and literary aspirations to do so. Seven children and much self-exploration later, she realizes she needs to leave the Hasidic life to write and to release the lesbian within her that she has buried for years. This book explores her reasons for both joining the community and for leaving it. Lax shapes her memoir carefully, providing clues along the way so the reader can understand what she gives up to join the Hasidic community and what appeals to her about it, and conversely, what she loses and what she gains when she relinquishes that community after twenty-seven years.
Of Persian Jewish descent, Esther grows up in Queens, New York during the 1960s. Her family immigrated from Mashad, Iran, where life even in the twentieth century, remained rather medieval. Her parents had to practice Judaism “underground” while maintaining the appearance of being Muslims. Eventually, they fled Iran for New York City. Their exit involved escaping via Afghanistan and India where they waited for clearance to move to the United States. Her father is a silent man. Her mother is the polar opposite, always demanding, wanting preferential treatment because she was an orphan. While embracing all that is American (including designer clothing), she encourages Esther to find her own way.
These books, both memoirs of Jewish women from difficult backgrounds, have similar themes—the need to leave a more structured, orthodox community to become one’s true self. Even the names of the books convey that sense, but perhaps in mirror images: Concealed referring to the hiding of women behind the fundamentalism and Uncovered referring to the release from that structured environment. Concealed is a more boisterous book, partly due to the exuberance of Amini’s mother; Concealed is more quiet and internalized. Both memoirs worth reading as Lax and Amini ultimately must work their ways through conflicting childhoods and arranged marriages to learn what to retain and what to dismiss. Each grapples with her identity while remaining devoted to her family and becoming an integrated human.
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