Tracy Stopler, besides being an author, is a registered dietitian with a Master of Science in Nutrition from New York University and the nutrition director at NUTRITION E.T.C. in Plainview, New York. Tracy has been an adjunct nutrition professor at Adelphi University for twenty-five years, and teaches workshops on Screening for Childhood Trauma and Mind Body Medicine. She earned her Child Abuse Screening certification from Ken Lau Child Abuse Training and Enough Abuse Training, and Clinical Training for Mind/Body Medicine certification from Harvard Medical School. Tracy volunteers with the Enough Abuse Campaign at The Safe Center on Long Island. With a dedicated team of volunteers, she helps to bring child sexual abuse awareness to the public. She also served as a volunteer SAFER Advocate (Survivor Advocate for Emergency Response) and as a child victim’s advocate, working with abused children and their non-offending family members. Tracy’s favorite personal achievements have been summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro and completing her award-winning debut novel, The Ropes That Bind, an inspirational story about overcoming childhood trauma. She joins me today to talk about her books.
SS: What did you want to grow up to be as a child? Has that child’s desire appeared in your work?
TS: When I was ten, I wrote in my first diary that I wanted to achieve the following when I grew up: teaching people to eat healthy and exercise; research; writing a meaningful book. In the three books I’ve written, I have characters who are doing at least one of my childhood goals. I had never thought of it before, but my answer to your question is making me smile. Thank you.
SS: Have you always been driven to write?
TS: I learned after recently having knee surgery and being unable to write for several days, the answer must be yes. I think writing has become a way of life for me. I’m not sure when this addictive behavior snuck into my life, but, like exercise, meditation, and eating dark chocolate, I miss it terribly when too many days pass by without my soul expressing itself on paper.
SS: Did anything in your past push you to write about your book and the conflict(s) in it?
TS: Although I enjoy writing, I never imagined writing such a serious book like The Ropes That Bind. The idea of successfully covering the conflict of childhood trauma at one time would have seemed so impossible to me. However, because of my own childhood abduction and sexual assault, and the desire to help others overcome similar experiences, somehow I became determined to tackle the issue. Because of the feedback I received, I feel the story has helped others deal with their own conflicts in a way that would benefit them.
SS: Do you have a day job? If so, is it a distraction, or does it add another element to your writing?
TS: I have many day jobs. I’m a registered dietitian in private practice, a nutrition professor, and a pastry chef (don’t judge me). Each of my roles truly create a different mindset that helps me with character development. The dietitian is the compassionate caregiver, the professor is the left-brain dominant intellectual and mentor, while the pastry chef is the carefree, creative, right-brain dominant, “let’s play,” silly role model.
SS: How long have you considered yourself a writer? Did you have any formal training?
TS: I still make a disbelieving face when someone says that I’m a writer. Yes, I know I’ve published books, but perhaps because it’s not my bread and butter, I struggle with the title. I’ve taken many writing classes (fiction, memoir, scriptwriting, editing, dialogue, and professional development). They have helped my writing skills and increased my confidence exponentially. My writing is definitely more than a hobby. I hope one day, when I’m still young enough to appreciate it, I’ll earn enough money that I’ll be able to give my books away.
SS: What are you working on at the moment?
TS: I’m excited to be working on another novel, We All Fall Down. This is a story about three generations of strong female characters where the grandmother and the granddaughter have mental illness. I’ve enjoyed the research for this book, and I truly enjoyed making this family quite wealthy so they didn’t have to struggle financially. It’s a humble reminder that money cannot buy peace of mind. Like all of my stories, this one has a spark of spirituality and an inspirational ending.
SS: Who do you most wish would read your book?
TS: I would love survivors of childhood trauma to read The Ropes That Bind; especially those who have experienced sexual abuse. Whether someone was abused by a stranger or someone they knew, and even loved (family member, friend of the family, neighbor, teacher, clergy, or babysitter), I want them to know it was not their fault. No matter how many years have passed, the time for recovery is now. It is time to find their voice, share their secret, and let go of the trauma before they get sick. The impacts of sexual assault can last a lifetime, putting survivors at an increased risk for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
I’m sending a compassionate shout out to those survivors who have not yet found their voice, and another one to those who have: Maya Angelou, Fiona Apple, Nigel Barker, Roseann Barr, Chester Bennington, Robert Blake, Mary J. Blige, Abigail Breslin, Cheryl Burke, Gabriel Byrne, Margaret Cho, Terry Crews, Jonathan Davis, Viola Davis, Ellen DeGeneres, Minnie Driver, Lena Dunham, Anthony Edwards, Missy Elliot, Eve Ensler, Fantasia, Corey Feldman, Sally Field, Antwone Fisher, Jane Fonda, Brendan Fraser, Lady Gaga, Erin Gray, Lucy Hale, Billie Holiday, Ashley Judd, Mayard James Keenan, Padma Lakshmi, Queen Latifah, Derek Luke, Marilyn Manson, McKayla Maroney, Rose McGowan, Joyce Meyer, Alyssa Milano, Marilyn Monroe, Dave Mustaine, Rosie O’Donnell, Mike Patton, Rosie Perez, Tyler Perry, Jep Robertson, Henry Rollins, Axl Rose, Carlos Santana, Amy Schumer, Anne Sexton, Taylor Swift, Tina Turner, Gabrielle Union, James Van Der Beek, Oprah Winfrey, Paula White, Evan Rachel Wood.
SS: Do you believe in writer’s block? What about reader’s block?
TS: I don’t know if I’d use the word believe because it makes it sound religious, but I feel that as a writer, if my head is not in a good place then I cannot perform my best. When I’m not feeling my best, I lose my ability to focus so this applies, not only to my writing, but also to my reading. I am my happiest when I am in the zone, able to write or read for hours without interruption, and with compete comprehension and recall.
SS: It is often believed that almost all writers have had their hearts broken at some point in time, does that hold true for you?
TS: I believe all people, not just writers, have their hearts broken more than once. To avoid this would not be human. My heart has cracked more than once, by humans, by pets, and by cruelty to either. These heartaches can certainly fuel the writing process. It builds character and makes our characters relatable.
SS: Which scene did you find the most challenging to write and why?
TS: In The Ropes That Bind, there were two scenes that made me ill, and I had to take many breaks, equaling many years, to complete them. The first chapter, the trauma, was actually one of the final chapters to be written even though it was chapter one. This chapter brought me back to therapy for several months.
The second scene was the chapter that was written in screenplay format. It was the scene, when Tali’s mentor, and love-of-her-life, Daniel, was dying. It was originally written in the usual format, but, Tali wanted to keep her promise to Daniel to write a screenplay, and this format in third person was also a way for Tali to disassociate, making it less painful for her, but not for me.
SS: Do your books carry a message? If so, what would you say it is?
TS: The message in each of my books is to remember that we have free will. Although we can’t change our past and what has happened to us, we certainly have the choice to overcome it. My characters look for the meaning of their adversity. They work hard to overcome whatever adversity they have been given, whether it is genetic or environmental.
SS: What was your first recognition/success as an author?
TS: After one of my book discussions, for my debut novel, The Ropes That Bind, an eighty-three-year-old woman shared with me that she was an incest survivor who had kept the secret her entire life and she was now ready to make an appointment to get help. My soul sang out. That was all I needed. I’m grateful that I’ve had at least one person disclose an assault at every book event. At school, where I teach, I have at least four students disclose every semester. They remind me that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. If only I could have started sooner.
SS: Do you believe in real-life happily-ever-afters?
TS: I’m an optimist (or I’m delusional), so, yes, I’m a sucker for a happy ending! However, to quote my character, Grandma Virginia, in my next novel, We All Fall Down, due out in December 2022, “I’m sorry that there’s no happy ending here—that exists only on the pages of an unfinished story.”
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The Ropes That Bind is available through:
The Ropes That Bind (2016) received the 2017 Independent Press Award and the NYC Big Book Award for Distinguished Favorite in Women’s Fiction. It was also named semi-finalist in the 2018 North Street Prize.
“Debut author Stopler offers a novel, based on a true story, about one woman’s struggle to overcome a trauma from her childhood…The book paints a strikingly vivid picture of Tali and the challenges she faces on a long, winding road of healing. Rooting for her is easy and watching her mature is endearing, making the novel as a whole a quite memorable experience.” —Kirkus Review
My Brother Javi: A Dog’s Tale is available through:
My Brother Javi: A Dog’s Tale (2020) was named “Finalist” in the 2020 International Book Awards, and is the recipient of the 2020 Pinnacle Book Achievement Award. It also won the Bronze/Third Place Award in the 2021 Feathered Quill Book Awards Program.
“Two astute pooches offer lessons in life, loss, love, and the power of positive thinking. This enjoyable escapist read for dog lovers, dotted with canine factoids, should also delight youngsters ready to move up to storytime chapter books. The enchanting work delivers a welcome distraction from today’s darkness and acrimony. A funny, poignant, and uplifting canine tale.” —Kirkus Reviews
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You can follow Tracy on social media here:
Goodreads | TEDx Talk: Break Free From the Ropes That Bind | My Brother Javi: A Dog’s Tale Book Trailer | The Ropes That Bind Book Trailer
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